Pillow Talk [Moriarty the Patriot Fanfiction]
William has been lying on the ground, among the pillows. Albert was sleeping soundly on the left side and Louis sleeping on the right side of him.
He still did not feel completely here. He did not think he really deserved this. But for some reason, he was still here. He was still allowed to be here. And this was enough for now.
He sat up and looked at this two brothers. Unlike Albert, who finally allowed himself to let go of his guilt of the last three years and more. Unlike Louis how had to run after Moran, William did not feel that tired.
Suddenly Louis twitched. He tensed, like he was waiting for some danger. But did not move beside this.
"Louis?" asked William. He was worried. Was Louis having a nightmare?
But it seems that his question made him tense even more. Then William saw how Louis forced himself to relax. He looked up, meeting William's eyes. "Brother?"
William widened his eyes.
Louis looked fearful and questioning, like he could not believe his eyes. He was still partly asleep. And maybe this was the reason. There was a vulnerability in his eyes, his voice, that William did not remember seeing since they were children.
William wanted to hug him, wanted to banish this look from Louis face. But part of this was also stopping him. It was telling him, that it was his own ego and weakness that was responsible for this. And therefore should not make it worse. That he was not even allowed to apologize.
The rest of him knew, that this part was wrong, but it still made him hesitate for just a moment.
Louis took this decision away from him, when he hugged him.
Something moved behind William. So Albert woke up from this. He could feel him sitting up behind him. But he did not look to confirm, looking only down at Louis burrowing his face in his pajamas.
After a couple of seconds Albert stood up, But it was only so he could reach the other side of the pillows. He sat next to Louis and put his hand on his back to try and steady him.
Louis did not move and William could feel the wetness on his shoulder. Was Louis actually crying?
He looked at Albert, but he was looking down at Louis. There was a complicated look on his face, which reminded him too much of the face Albert made in the tower, when he saw him come.
William allowed one of his hands to start slowly combing Louis' hair to the back. "Louis?" William asked again, quietly. He was not sure what else to do in this situation.
"I though I was just dreaming you are alive." Louis said. It was muffled because of the position, but it was will well heard. "That you two came back."
"I am sorry, Louis." said Albert. "If I..."
Louis shook his head. "I understand. Believe me I do." he started. "It is just the rare moments of weakness when I ask myself why was I not enough."
They were in a quiet for a while.
"I though you would hate me for pushing William on this path." Albert slowly admitted. "I hated myself so much for this, so I thought you did as well."
At these words Louis looked sideways, so he could look at Albert.
Albert removed his hand now, putting it on his laps, and there was a pained expression on his face. "The others don't really know how it started, but I imagined that if they knew, they would hate me as well."
"You are my brother." was the only thing that Louis said. "You are both my brother." but the second sentence was quieter.
There was a silence for a while, which William broke. "There was a part of me that is still telling me, that everybody would be better of with me gone." He was looking at the side, not to any of the two.
He could feel the Louis' hands still in his shirt tightening. He could feel one of Albert's hands on his shoulder.
"I am sorry for causing both of you such a distress." William finally looked at Louis, who was already looking at him. "I am sorry for taking this long."
Louis nodded. He then moved a bit back and wiped his tears. "I am going to be alright." said Louis. He returned back to normal.
William was not sure he liked this reaction. But he was not sure what else to do.
"Louis." Albert said, as he put his hand on Louis' shoulder. "I think it is alright to not be fine. I mean..." Albert trailed off for a second, looking down. "I brought you two in some really messed family."
"Did we not burn the messed up part?" Louis asked.
"Louis!" William objected, but it was more smile than anything else. William fell back on the pillows, covering his face with his hand. He was sure he was getting a pointed look from Louis right now.
There was a yawn heard. As William had through, the day was tiring for his two brothers.
"I am..." started Albert. Then he paused. "Alright, Louis."
So it was Albert that yawned. William removed his hand from his face, as both of them made themselves comfortable lying down.
William could feel Louis gripping his hand, and his gripped back.
"Stay here, please." Louis said.
William vowed, that this time he will not run away from his brothers anymore.