GROW Project 2022 Q3 Social Skills

Employee: Sara Jakša (28th June 2022)

Goals: What do you want to achieve/resolve/solve?

Long-Term Goal: Increase my social skills

Short-Term Goal: Making sure, I am the right level of dominating the conversation

Current Reality: What is happening now? Have you already taken any steps towards your goal?

I have noticed, that in some conversations, I can be really passive, and in another conversation, and I be really dominating, and try to push my opinion, without a care. I do not know, how to strike this balance.

For the later one, I am trying to now use questions, just to make sure I do not come across as threatening (though it has been years, since the last time I had this feedback). But striking a balance is still difficult.

Options: What can you do? What are your options?

Being more mindful? I am not sure sure, what would be the best way to address this.

Will: Of these options, what is your most powerful next step? / What will you do until our next meeting?

Not sure.

Other things to be mentioned:

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Do you need specific development support (training, coaching, etc.) to achieve your goals?

Not sure.

Introspection on the goal

For the social skills, I was working on the right level of dominating the conversation. There were two parts of this.

  • One was to not dominate the conversation so much, that I feel some people might not have the ability to speak. Unlike the quarter before this, I did not have the feeling, like I am dominating as much. So there was at least a small improvement there. I also did not get any feedback on this point, so there was nothing to wrong with this.

  • The other part was talking up, when I have something to say, but I hold myself back. I originally did not think, this would a smaller part of the problem. It ended up being the more problematic part. Based on feedback from a couple of people, I notice that I hold back any of my thinking, that we are not actively talking about. I will only tell my opinion, if somebody else brings the topic up. Upon reflection and thinking, the problem seems to be my low opinion of my competence compared to people around me. So I only try new things and explore them, if I can trust, that I will get good quality feedback - so people will tell me their criticism openly. I actually do not feel this in a lot of places, which includes this team.

In my next quarter, I plan to concentrate on continuing the exploring the second point.