Blog of Sara Jakša

My Desire to Experience my Version of D/s

Thanks to one of my classmate new interest in the whole dom and sub social dynamics, I have been reminded that there was an idea about D/s relationships that I have wanted to experience for quite a while, but I have not yet shared it. I mean, the only times that I have shared it it was with my classmates at the beer and the classmate mentioned above on another occasion. And bot of this happened in the last week or so.

But I know I need to be able to work on expressing more parts of self to other people. I become somehow better at no lying or projecting the parts of my that are not true. And there are parts of me, that I don't mind sharing, if something in that area becomes a topic: like that I am asexual, that I don't date, or that I am vegetarian. But all of these seems like safe topics.

So today I want to describe what kind of D/s dynamics interest me.

First of all, I see the D/s dynamics as more of a leader and follower. Yes, I can be aware that when I have not experienced something myself, then I can get weird ideas from whatever I read or hear. But it did got my imagination running.

I imagine that this dynamics would be great with friends. For example, when a groups of friends would meet, instead of always asking others for permission and trying to reach consensus or a compromise, each time there can be a person that decides where we are going and what we are going to be doing.

So let say that we are going hiking. There would be one person that would decide on the destination, where and when are we meeting, how we are going there, and what we are going to be doing afterwards. He is also the one then responsible for us to not get loss.

And the rest of the people can sit back, relax, and simply enjoy the experience.

This is a way to eliminate at least three things that take a lot of time and/or energy and are more like administration or make the experience a bit more disorganized. The later part can be both good and bad.

The first is the problem of reaching consensus. There is a lot of time and energy put into making sure that everything is alright. I mean, I had to do it in person, through the email and through facebook. For the record, whoever came up with the idea of organizing things through facebook is evil. It is a melting-pot of randomness. It is the source of all evil and I never want to participate in this ever again.

But email and in person also have their own problems. Though sometimes in person is fine, and can be done in a quick and efficient manner. But it would still be easier, at least in some situations, for a person the just decide whatever.

This brings me to the second point, and that is that people don't normally care about the small detail. But the normal way forces them to care. I remember when a classmate of mine cooked lunch for me. He was constantly asking me, if I am alright with his choices. Do I eat basil? Do I eat tomatoes? DO I eat garlic? I mean, you invited me, and I said yes, so I am willing to try whatever you put in front of me. Stop making me decide all these things. I mean, there is this thing called decision fatigue as well, alright.

Well, he is a great cook, so all is forgiven.

And the third point is the crowd effect. If there is one person responsible for something, then there is less chance that there is going to be an impromptu session of problem solving, because nobody took care of the possible problem beforehand. Like remembering, where we parked. I really wish I could say that this only happened once. Sigh.

Maybe this type of communication style also have their own drawbacks. But the real reason is, that I can not know until I try it. And I do want to try it. But for this, I would need to be more comfortable revealing this desire to other people.

Well, I guess this is a first step.