Blog of Sara Jakša

How do you Define a Family?

For some people, the family are their parents and siblings. To others the family represents their spouse and their kids. Some include both of their family. For some, the family is even bigger, since they include all the other relatives, to different extent. Some people include people, that are not blood related in their family as well.

For me, family had always been the people, that I felt are the family. I started by including all my immediate family and the relatives in the first circle (my grandparents and their family, my aunts and uncles and their families).

I later become more estranged from some of the relatives, since we had radically different view on some things, and they couldn’t back it up, while expecting me to have the same view as them. I stopped visiting them so often, until I was no longer feeling, that they are my family.

I got a friend in the end of higher primary school, and I spent so much time with him, that I started considered him my family as well. It probably helped, that my younger sister was spending a lot of time with them.

But he became uncomfortable in my company and we slowly drifted apart (but we are still friends). He later told me, that he thought that I was in love with him, and he didn’t know, how to reject me. Thinking back, I was feeling connecting to him, that could be defined as love, but not in the way, that teenagers normally use the word.

Then my sister started dating and her boyfriends started staying in our house. Her last boyfriend was in our house so much, that I started to change my cooking completely, even when I was not cooking for him as well. He was allergic to some of the milk proteins, and could die from just cross contamination. Then I realized, that I started to treat him as a family as well, because I felt he was a part of it.

Now that I moved away from the house for the first time, I stopped the feeling of family for him. It is mostly concentrated on my parents and my sister right now. I still feel my grandparents are my family, but not anybody else.

As you could see, I define family as a fluent feeling of love, that connect me to other people. I do not care, if they are blood related to me or not.

But my way of defining a family is just one way. But I like it, because it have a possibility of choosing the family and the dream, that maybe one day, we could live as one big family on this world, not divided by the blood of countries border.