Blog of Sara Jakša

Are you Afraid of Reading Email?

Email had become important channel of communication. These days, instead of exchanging home addresses and maybe phone numbers, a more usual approach is to exchange emails and maybe some of the social networking sites user names.

While sending a snail mail and making a phone call can cost money, the email does not have any cost, except having an access to the computer and an internet. Every library in my city have that, so it is free, if you are willing to go there.

That also increased the numbers of mails, that we get in our mail inboxes. The numbers are increasing. Also the people contacting us could be anywhere on the spectrum of closest friends to complete strangers.

The ease and the variety of people make some of the emails the ones, that I do not want to face. I am afraid to face them. To even read them, let alone to reply to them.

Usually, these mails are from people, that I really respect. No matter, if they are a stranger or a close friend, if I really respect the person, then every time, I get the email from them, I usually glance at it, and immediately close the email program.

After some time, I get the courage to actually read the email. Most of the time. It had happened, that I had deleted the email, without reading it. Usually by accident, but the relief of not having to deal with that was so great, I didn't care.

Then after reading it, I have to take at least one walk before replying. It doesn't matter, when that walk happens, but it has to be between the reading and replying. I have to think through the response.

I then compose the response, taking a lot of time to write. I recently wrote a reply, that I was composing for 3 days. I had an email program open on that message, that I was composing for more than 2 hours.

Then I try to send of my email, before I manage to talk myself out of it. I succeed most of the time.

When I get the reply back, the whole cycle starts again.

It is even worse, when I know, I did something wrong. Like forgetting something important, because I didn't look at the clock, or I was just so focused on something, that it slipped my mind.

It is a fear, that I am dealing on every day basis.

What about you? Do you like reading and replying to mails, or do you prefer to procrastinate on it? Or are you like me, and actually afraid of it?