Blog of Sara Jakša

How I Started Meeting New People

I used to be afraid of people. But even after overcoming my fear, I had been left with nonexistent social contacts.

That posed a problem. I had finally went over my fear, but nothing changed on the outside. I could feel the change, but I couldn't show it.

So, I have read quite a lot on the subject. They were ideas, like talking to people on the bus. Meeting people through the internet, using existing social contact to expand it and so on.

I tried meeting people on the bus. Maybe a pleasant talk, but normally the bus drive was too short to develop any interesting conversations.

I tried meeting the people through the internet, but my personality changes when on internet chats than on person. I am a lot more horrible person there, so this was a dead end as well.

I managed to save one friendship from the grave, but his existing contacts spended their free time smoking marihuana, watching movies and playing drinking games (or just plainly got drunk as quick as possible.).

But what I tried, that it worked was meeting groups.

So, in order to meet new people, I have joined different groups, and I have went to different meeting. Or just go on any social gathering, that seemed interesting.

First, I have joined the karate club. It was a small group and it was a good start, but I made a mistake. My sister joined with me.

What I learned was, that if I want to have a better chance in meeting people, I shouldn't bring anybody that I know with me.

If you still have fear of people, than disregard the upper advice. But in this case, the goal would be to get rid of fear. It will really help with meeting new people later. But meeting new people in between is not forbidden. I think you would benefit a lot from it. It is just not the main goal.

If you only have the fear of rejections, stick to my upper advice. You will be thankful on the long run.

So I joined Toastmasters club, this time alone. The welcome was more than just warm. It was great. And I had great conversations already after the first meeting (polysynaptic sleep, if I remember correctly). Everybody was nice and even if I was awkward, then didn’t mind it.

Since then, I joined writing club and a gamer club. I was going through group study of Coursera beginning program lessons. Went to technology presentations and meet people there afterwards. Or simply went to any meetup that catched my eyes.

It have become easier. Now I don't have a problem striking a conversation in situations like that. It is fun.

And even people on the streets and buses sometimes came and talk to me. But I wonder, why are most of them, if man, want to have sex with me or marry me?