One day, I decided to give away my blood.
In a way, it was a spontaneous decision and in a way, it wasn't. I was listening to the speech in the Toastmasters meeting, and then it hit me. I wasn't the only one, as one of the other members also mentioned it.
So, being nervous, I wasn’t be able to sleep, spending all night reading. My parents advised me, not to go, but I didn't listen to them. I eat my breakfast, just as it was written on the webpage and left.
There I was walking in front of the building, collecting courage to go inside. I even went into an argument about it with myself. But then I took a breath and walked inside, trying not to think.
I came to the first nurse and the she asked me who am I and if I am there for the first time. Then giving away a drop of my blood to determine the blood type. The next room, with the questionnaire.
It was all happening so fast, that I started to panic a little. I was getting hot and my world spined and blackened for a moment, as I went to get my hemoglobin levels checked. Luckily, I was sitting at the table and leaned my head down, before I lost counchness.
Thankfully, I came around quickly, so they didn't notice. But they still called a doctor and she give me a glass of water and made me lean down. She also declared me unable to give blood away.
In the time, I was leaning down, some other doctor came. As she saw, that I still did give blood, she told me next words: "You can always try in a couple of months. Or find a different way to help people."
After feeling better, I went home. But the words of the second doctor stayed with me.
No matter what my fears are, there is nothing wrong in comforting it. Things can still end unfavorable or just not in the imagined way, but the lessons learned, the feeling of having overcome something inside myself. That is worth it. A step is enough. There is always another time for another step.
If I fall the first time, there is always another time. No matter how many times I fall, I can always try again. Or as the japanese proverb goes, falling seven times, standing eight times. A person is not a failure as long as he gets back up.
But sometimes there are other ways to achieve the same results, so I know to keep my eyes open and look for different ways to live the life that I want in accordance to my values. Helping other people to that as well (if they want my help and I am capable of giving it).