Pretence [MCU / BBC Sherlock Fanfiction]

Natasha entered the bar. As she looked around, she noticed Clint talking and drinking with a soldier. She hoped that Clint was not having any alcohol. He was impossible to deal with when drunk.

The person opposite of him laughed at something Clint said. She could not use lipreading since Clint was turned with the back towards her.

She walked to their table, waving as she approached them.

"Natasha, nice of you to join us," Clint welcomed her with a smile on his face, as he stood up and put the hand on her back.

"Miss Royston, pleasure to meet you." John stood up, shaking hands with her. "John Watson."

"I hope that he is not bothering you," Natasha glared at Clint. They were on a mission, and they did not have time to mess around with unrelated people. Especially not a goody-all solder.

"Not at all. Your fiancé is a great company,"

"He can also be annoying as hell," she said with a smile as she straightened Clint hair and kissed him on the cheek. She felt better, when Clint tensed.

"Will you join us?" asked John. "Unless if you have somewhere else to be?"

He did not appear to be saying that only out of politeness. She glanced at Clint and she smiled. "Not at all."

They sat down and John tried to wave down the waiter. But Natasha decided to check what Clint was drinking. It looked like orange juice. She took a sip, and it was only orange juice.


The waiter came and Natasha ordered the same drink that Clint was having. He took the order and left.

"He is just horrible with alcohol." she said.

"Clint is not an alcoholic, right?"

By now John was inspecting Clint.

"I am not," Clint said as he was sulking.

"You just become uncontrollable when drunk." she nudged Clint into his stomach. "There was one time, when he danced on the table, and when the police came, he managed to steal their car and drive away."

"Borrowed. Also, nobody was hurt."

"If you don't count a couple of birds and that lamp." Natasha rolled her eyes.

Clint had turned away from her. He should know better than to try to mess with her.

John started to laugh, trying to be as discreet as possible. Probably out of politeness.

"Still better than that time you started to explain in great detail how the babies are made in a kindergarten." Natasha now looked at him, her eyebrow raised. She smiled at him in a way that made him shiver.

"Our child deserves to know the truth. The other parents overreacted." Clint nudged her with the elbow.

"But did he understand anything? Clint mentioned that your son is almost one." John looked confused.

"I was talking about my daughter. She is already 5 years old." Natasha scrutinized him as she tried to figure out if he was convinced.

"From previous marriage?"

"Yes," Clint said. "You should meet her. She is the smartest girl ever."

The waiter came with Natasha's juice. She smiled at the him, grateful for a little distraction.

Clint stood up. Natasha grabbed his hand. "Just toilet. Be right back."

Natasha glared at him, but she released him nonetheless. She looked after him, before turning to John. There is no way to know what Clint had already told him about them.

"So, John. What do you do for a living?" Asking people about them was always the safe road. As long as she could keep the attention away from herself.

"Captain in the army. But a doctor by education," John took another sip of his tea.

"An army doctor then?" Natasha took another sip.

"Not exactly." John was squirming in his seat. "I just wanted some more action."

Natasha leaned forward. Maybe Clint actually managed to find somebody useful.

John suddenly started talking with more energy. "I would just end up being a doctor in some smaller city, marrying a girl and volunteering at the cat shelter. Seemed kind of boring."

"Allergic to cats." Natasha shrugged. "I do understand the feeling."

Clint came back and sat next to them again. He hugged Natasha and kissed her. "Hope you did not wait long."

"You could have stayed away longer."

"No love for me." said Clint, rolling his eyes, "But she can be moody, if she stays too long away from her cat."

Now Natasha dredged him with the elbow. As he glanced at her, she put her finger under the nose. She hoped that he will realize what she meant.

"You know how women are with their turtles."

"I imagine it is not that different from other pets."

With these words John attention was caught by something happening behind them. Natasha followed his eyes and she saw two people glaring at each other. She heard John sighed.

"I need to go." He put some money for his drink on the table. "Nice meeting you. Hope you manage to marry soon."

Natasha nodded and Clint and John shook hands. John left toward the two people that were already throwing unsavoury words towards each other.

Natasha glared at Clint. "The next time you introduce us as a couple, I would like some more advance notice."

He rolled his eyes at her, as he took his juice. "Relax. It is not like we are ever going to meet him again."

Natasha scanned the group fighting, and she saw that John managed to convince somebody to leave with him. "Hope you are right."